Browsing through the slideshow “The Strange Things Men Do After Sex”, my friends and I came up with the “5 Stranger Things Men Do After Sex” (we decided on this topic only after much debate—my friend Julian was dead set on “5 Things Men Do After Sex With a Stranger”….nice Julian).
1. Roll over and seem to lose interest completely as soon as we’re done
The good news: We still love you. Our feelings for you have not changed. The bad news: We’re wired differently. When our fluids are spent, so are we, and everything in our body is telling us that it’s time to rest—to gather strength to protect the infants our mighty sperm has just procreated. But it’s a poor carpenter who blames his tools and a poor electrician who blames his wiring. Not every time, but generally speaking, by the time we’re good and spent, you should be too. If you’re not, there’s nothing wrong with a lil tap on the shoulder and asking for a little help (in this situation my friend Pete’s girlfriend likes him to lend a hand with a vibrator; Julian’s gf likes how clever he is with his tongue).
2. Go to the bathroom
Though our equipment is simpler, we can feel yucky down there too, especially with the fluids and the sweat, etc. My friends usually just do a quick wash in the sink. Obviously, the “ladies first” rule should apply here, too.
Um, I’ve been guilty of this before, and so had most of my friends. There’s almost nothing as awkward as when the magic of the evening, or the alcohol, starts to wear off and you realize you DO NOT want to spend the night at her house. When it’s happened, it didn’t always mean we didn’t like the person (though more often than not that’s exactly what it means)—there were multiple factors at play. For some of us a sleepover is way more intimate than sex.
4. Ask if you’re our girlfriend
This is actually a joke I’ve said—after getting down for the first time with a friend who I had a pretty random hookup with at a party, I asked her, “You’re my girlfriend now, right?”—but it was a joke. Sometimes after the sex we can get a little emotional and assume the relationship has moved to a new level. Good news: He’s into it! Bad news: You just adopted a puppy.
- Start talking about everything he has to do that week__
He’s being a d*ck. He just figured out he doesn’t want to be there and he’s subtly trying to figure out a way to tell you he’s going to leave, or he’s hoping you’ll tell him he should go home and get some rest. This kind of behavior does not speak well of his potential for courageous behavior; if you guys are ever involved in a bank robbery together, this guy will probably use you as a human shield.
What strange things have you seen guys do after getting busy?__
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The Strange Things Men Do After Sex
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