After we had completed our worksheet we compared our results. It was a bit of a shock—maybe we weren ’ thyroxine quite ampere alike as we thought. In fact, our top three words weren ’ t even the same ! We had a long discussion about the assignment and it turned out we viewed values in unlike ways. My boyfriend saw them as immovable pillars in his life ; I thought they were more like priorities, which could change over time .
As I think about values I see how I didn ’ thyroxine understand them and was, in fact, mixing them up with my beliefs. possibly I wasn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate self-conscious enough to understand what my values were, or besides distracted with getting married to look trench enough. At any rate, it caused stress in our relationship until we worked it out .
Turns out I ’ megabyte not the only one who confuses values and beliefs—many people do. then here are the definitions. Values motivate our actions and help us make decisions. They are universal concepts, which unite people. Values can include concepts like fairness, judge, exemption, and equality. Beliefs are assumptions we hold to be true—and may or may not be based on facts. Beliefs can be rigid, causing divisions, and range from what we believe about creation to what foods we choose to eat.
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thus why is this significant ? First of all, we can ’ t expect people to believe everything we believe. It ’ s rare to find two people who hold the accurate same assumption about every one thing on earth. This is why we learn skills like compromise and conflict settlement. If we live life sentence expecting others to conform to our impression organization we will become torment and disillusioned, specially if that person is our spouse.
however, differences in values can be more unplayful in a relationship. If two people have different effect values, for exemplar one values jacob’s ladder and the other values wealth, there will be constant conflict. And if one values faith and the other is turned off by it … well you can see the problems there .
In my shell, when we spoke about our have with our counsellors we were challenged to decide if our differences were things we could respect and appreciate about each other or if they were impossible to overcome. Over the years of our marriage there have been many opportunities for me to see our differences playing out but besides cherish the values we share .
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